From a psychological standpoint, men are encouraged to believe that the penis is the pivotal symbol of their worth as men, and that this part of their body is the way to please a woman. There is truth to that. However, for many men, using a vibrator on a woman might feel as if they’ve let her down, needing another tool to satisfy her; that’s not the penis. However, in healthy relationships, both gay and heterosexual types, the vibrator is great for bonding, enhanced play, and extra enjoyment during sexual intercourse. Psychologically speaking, these fun add-ons can actually build relationships.
What Are Quiet Vibrators?
Thankfully, quiet vibrators have become mainstream and are growing in popularity too. These quiet achievers are now widely available and made for discretion and privacy. Quiet vibrators are the same as vibrators, but they are generally quieter for more user discretion. Purposefully designed to vibrate, they are used internally to allow women and men anal and/or vaginal pleasure.
Research has ascertained that only a third of women have ever used a vibrator during intercourse, and only around 40% of heterosexual men have used one, with or without a partner. Although these numbers seem relatively stable, they are still on the low side.
Different Types & Styles
Vibrators in the discreet vibrators category may be a combination of things. In many cases, some silent vibrators might not look like stereotypical pleasure givers, but sometimes they will. A good example of the not-so-obvious types being the ones with powerful motorized motors, disguising themselves as innocent back massagers, with the added advantage of a humming quietness, despite the appearance. Some might even look like other objects, including lipstick, for example.
Most quiet vibrators will be advertised as such, whether they’re for anal, vaginal or clitoral stimulation. They might be small, in the case of butterfly vibrators used for clitoral stimulation, or they might be larger, like bullet vibrators which are made for internal, vaginal stimulation.
Whichever type you choose, be aware that they all come in a variety of sizes, models, colors, and designs. You just need to choose your favourite one, or you could buy more than one.
Remember, besides their outer appearance, quiet vibrators are made to make minimal noise. A general rule of thumb is that plug-in vibrators are mostly what we’d call whisper-quiet. Additionally, tiny bullet vibrators are also distinctly quieter, and the perfect travel companions too.
We’ll let you in on a little secret here: the most discreet vibrators are the ones you can barely see at all. For women, the butterfly sex toys or vibrating balls are the best kept secrets for quietness and discretion. Ssssh, it’s our little secret.
How to Choose the Right Quiet Vibrator for You
Shopping for anything can be somewhat difficult, especially if it’s not something you regularly buy. Ask yourself these questions to help with your decision making processes.
- What area am I trying to stimulate?
- Is it for solo or partnered pleasure, or both?
- Will I need to take it on holiday or fit it discreetly in my work bag?
- Do I prefer battery operated or rechargeable types?
- Does it come with a discreet case or will I need to buy one?
- Is it featured as a quiet vibrator in its advertisement?
Like any other pleasure product, a sex toy should be well considered and thought out, at least a little. In reality, when you’re investing in a sex toy, you're making an investment in your own personal pleasure. How important is that to you? And do you need extra features to meet your requirements? If so, what are they? Include size and color in your decisions, and then when you see it you’ll know it’s the right choice. Sometimes you might even come across a design that exceeds your expectations, and that can be a whole lot of fun!
Remember, before you buy, think about the features that you really want, and decide whether or not you feel best going to a store or making the purchase online. With proper care, before and after use, these toys can last a really long time, and it’s well worth the effort when you’re choosing silent vibrators that feel right for you.
Think: size, type, region of pleasure, battery operated or rechargeable, color, and price range.
What Are the Benefits
Satisfying sex and masturbation actually triggers hormones and wonderful neurotransmitters that help us to feel relaxed, stress free and happy. The other real health benefit is that you’re taking time out for yourself, or maybe it’s to spend quality time with a partner. These are healthy ideals which are necessary for the emotional, mental and physical health of all human beings, as adults.
Orgasm is healthy. Remember, orgasm is basically a series of muscle contractions. In women, orgasm can help to keep the pelvic floor muscles to stay in shape, keeping the organs in place and aiding against incontinence too. Sexual activity is exercise, so that’s great for health, and intimacy is good for our relationships, which are also beneficial for our health overall. 2/3 of women can’t orgasm from intercourse alone, so quiet vibrators are the big helper which allows for it to occur. Plus, it’s easier, because the right areas are targeted too.
Sensation can be lessened as we grow older. The loss of estrogen in women is known as genitourinary syndrome. There is less circulation in the genital tissues because they get more fragile over time. In essence, this means that women need more stimulation to have an orgasm. Quiet vibrators can fill the gap here, allowing for solo or partnered pleasure, with a quietness that doesn’t interfere with privacy or distract from other simultaneous sexual play, including intercourse.
Help to finish the task. Sometimes, during intercourse, partners can become tired or lose their ability to keep going with the same emphasis, just when more stimulation is needed. In these cases, a vibrator is an aid to enhance pleasure and to help achieve that much sought after orgasm during the time of sexual intercourse.
A foreplay addition. Bringing a vibrator into a relationship can be very sexy. The addition of this treat for couples can be a fun and very bonding experience. It can be used to tease, warm up, or give pleasure to make it to the end game. It’s the most exciting adventure for the partner who likes to be the giver of pleasure too.
A visual prop in relationships. Just showing a partner the vibrator can tell them that it’s time for intimacy. Sometimes having time for experimentation can be just what a relationship needs, to give it a little boost that it needs.
Unfortunately, if you don’t use it, you lose it. The human body is made up of muscles, and when they’re not used they can become out of tone and lose their elasticity. The use of muscles in the vagina during contractions and during orgasm, allows for lubrication and toning of the walls.
During the physical changes of menopause there is lessened estrogen, which unfortunately means extra dryness and the loss of elasticity, both of which can make for discomfort. If a woman is not sexually active through stimulation, there’s less blood circulation to the genital tissues. In men, blood flow is also important in sustaining tissue blood flow.
Some Safety Considerations
Phthalates warning. Be aware of phthalates in the soft plastic and jelly versions of quiet vibrators. Most manufacturers won’t use them nowadays, but it’s well worth buying a brand that’s reputable, especially for health’s sake. These phthalates are softeners and they're in lots of different types of plastic. Unfortunately, there is some evidence that phthalates can cause problems, and this is with regard to the male reproductive system.
In laboratory testing, it was found that extremely high amounts could cause damage to the liver, lungs, kidneys, endocrine system, and testes in men. Many men use these vibrators for anal play, in homosexual and heterosexual relationships, as well as solo in terms of masturbation.
In other studies, for both men and women, it seems that heavy usage for around an hour per day was not seen to be associated with any major health risks, except for pregnant and breastfeeding women who should abstain from heavy usage. But other studies came up with major issues for men. Thankfully, most reputable sex toy makers made the decision to stop using phthalates because of public concerns and "phthalate-free" is a major draw card used on many product labels.
Jelly toys can hold germs. Be aware that the jelly-like versions of quiet vibrators are harder to clean, and that’s mostly because they're quite porous. So dust, dirt and bacteria can get trapped in the surface and live inside the product. You can cover these products with a condom, and use a specially-made cleaning solution before and after use. Never share your toys, bacterial infections and sexually transmitted diseases (STIs) are not fun to contract or deal with.
Quiet vibrators made of other materials are easier to clean, but with this factor it also means that they tend to cost a bit more, and the condom idea is great if you like the feel of the jelly-like ones. However, if you’re in the market to spend a little more, you’ll still need to maintain your quiet vibrators with great cleaning regimes, before and after use, and by storing them in a cool and dry place that’s out of direct sunlight.
Nonporous, quiet vibrators will be made of hard plastic, metal or silicone. Follow the manufacturer’s instructions for cleaning, and always store them out of sunlight and preferably covered in a dust free case. You may also use a soft cloth to wrap them in; just make sure it’s clean and dry.
Cleaning & Storage Tips
- Clean them regularly.
- Check them regularly for damage.
- Use the right lube. Water based lubricants are best.
- Store them properly. In a clean case or wrapped up in a clean and dry soft cloth.
- Replace them occasionally. Most toys will last for a year, depending upon their quality. They can get compromised structurally over time, which means they can become more porous and be ineffective too.
- Keep them dry. Always wash and thoroughly dry your toys after use to prevent these germs and/or mold from growing and multiplying on and in them.
Common Questions People Ask
How do I use extra quiet vibrators to give myself an orgasm?
Relax first, and then start off slow. In essence, you can get to know your extra quiet vibrator and your body too. Touch the vibrator to parts of your body, like the nipples and then move on to your legs and down to your genitals. Discover what feels amazing, and then keep doing it. Let your arousal build up and let yourself discover your pleasure zones. Tease first, then allow yourself to be internally stimulated as well, if that’s what you want. Some vibrators only target the clitoris, so you can achieve orgasm without penetration, for ladies. Men might like to use vibrators to stimulate their own or their partner’s bodies. Always use the right vibrators as specified by the manufacturer’s instructions. E.g. anal vibrators for anal stimulation, bullet vibrators for vaginal stimulation, etc.
To be honest, there really isn't any right or wrong way to use a vibrator or to bring yourself to the perfect ‘O.’ The vibrator is a tool to help you stimulate yourself and you’ll need to work on finding out how to best achieve the end game. You’re in control, and so you may use it in the way that feels best to you.
Try to get relaxed and turned on before you actually switch the vibrator on. You can use visual aids or make out with your partner. Experiment and try its different features, touching multiple regions around the genitals to see what the vibrations feel like. Try clitoral stimulation, and remember that the labia and vulva are also very sensitive.
If your vibrator is the insertable type, give that a go, or let your partner help you. Many females and males find that penetration and vibration inside the vagina and/or anus is very enjoyable. If you're a guy who’s trying a vibrator, stroke it along the shaft of your penis and hold it against your glans and the head of your penis too. If this is too intense, try placing the vibrator at the base of your scrotum or pressing it against your perineum. Just make sure your vibrator is made for anal stimulation, if that’s the goal, because these types will be made to not get stuck or lost in the anal cavity. Remember, safety first, always.
Now, when you know what feels good, keep doing it for a while. Remember to really relax, and let yourself build the pleasure with your new-found toy. After you climax, take a break and go again if you like, using the vibrator at a lessened intensity to build up momentum again, or if you’re particularly sensitive. Sometimes taking the time to get there is the most fun part of your journey.
Can I use my vibrator anally?
Most penis-shaped vibrators can be inserted into the anus, but you shouldn’t insert anything that doesn’t have a flange or a flared base at the bottom that will keep it from going all of the way inside you.
As a safety precaution, it’s important to note: if a quiet vibrator does go all the way into your rectum, it can get stuck in your colon, and you may require medical attention to get it out. Buy anal vibrators that are specifically designed for that type of activity, then you’ll enjoy the stimulation without the added risk factors.