Covering sex toys for couples from a historical perspective could fill volumes. They reach as far back as Ancient Greece, where men first introduced the use of stale bread and olive oil as a crude and impromptu dildo. There’s the invention and construction of the penis extender that was mentioned in the Kama Sutra, and then there are detailed accounts from ancient Burma through to Imperial Japan, where the ben wa balls were first mentioned as being in use. The first cock ring being used was made from goat’s eyelids with the lashes still intact. These were tied around the penis and used in the same way as modern cock rings. The eyelashes touted as delivering extra and heightened stimulation.
In the 1400s, the “diletto” as it was called in Italy; made an appearance. A couple of hundred years later the modern cock ring was born. Bold and adventurous men slipped ivory rings around the base of their penises. In the 15th century, spankings were mentioned, but it wasn’t until the late 18th century that common brothels would offer such a service. Anal hooks weren’t really specified because they were mainly used for torture at different times, and made from very different materials.
The mid 1800s saw the invention of rubber from the supply of natural latex being mass produced from South America at the time. From this, a new breed of sex toys for couples came into being, still fashioned on older and somewhat more primitive styles, but the foray into latex was made. Vibrators and penis pumps showed themselves in the early 1900s and remained somewhat undercover until the mid 60s. This was the explosion in the sex toy industry as a whole, helped along by the social and sexual revolutions of the day. From there, things have progressed to an endless array of items, devices and perfect copies that would make our forbearers blush with pride and satisfaction.
Benefits of Couples Sex Toys
Sex toys bring their own benefits to people, but when used between couples, they can work wonders. Here are some of the benefits you might be surprised by when using sex toys with your partner:
Conversation: Sex toys can start conversations. Not only is this talk about the toy, but it can be an ice breaker too. When couples want to talk about sex in general (or better yet; get busy with some) and are unsure how to approach the subject, an innocent discussion about the toy/s in question can often fast track into a memorable event.
Experimentation: Many couples have been together for years and their bedroom adventures may have become somewhat stale or even non-existent. Sex toys for couples can open up many new avenues of sexual enjoyment and experimentation. They can work small miracles, spicing up a stale sex life and reconnecting partners physically as well as emotionally.
More Orgasms: Many women can’t orgasm through penetrative sex alone. Couple’s sex toys can aid this by delivering extra, external stimulation to the proceedings. This can also benefit men who can experience orgasms from prostate massage during (or as a form of intercourse in itself). Sex toys for couples can also help if one partner reaches climax before the other. With the right toy, there’s no need to finish the fun if only one partner has climaxed.
Sex toys are an addition, not a replacement: Some people consider the usage of sex toys as replacements for their partner; they might really be looking for something else which is lacking in their union with their partner though. This can be true in men who think they’re inadequate when their partner turns to a dildo or a vibrator. Sex toys used in relationships can be a turn-on for both partners, and both can reap the benefits of an increase in pleasure too. It still takes two to tango and having an extra pair of hands (lips and fingers etc.) is always a welcome change of scenery.
Different Couples Sex Toy Types
Tailed Butt Plugs: These fit in with sexual role playing where one member of the couple is the ‘owner,’ and then the wearer of the tailed butt plug is the submissive ‘pet.’ This has to be a consensual and mock power play to be fun. These butt plugs come with either real or fake fur tails of many animals.
Cock Rings: When used as intended, these stretchy rings can increase the hardness and size of the penis by prolonging and enhancing erectile strength. They deliver something extra for the receiver. And for the wearer, they can both enjoy possible delayed ejaculation/longer erection times and more intense orgasms. Long-term use of these is not recommended beyond the usual range for sexual activity. Erections are caused by dilated blood vessels holding blood in place for a period of time. Extended or unnaturally-long erection times can result in personal injury and physical complications, so play it safe.
Tongue Vibrators: These slip over the tongue or inside the mouth. When worn and used when performing oral sex, the additional vibrations can send their partner wild with ecstasy.
Finger Vibrators: These little powerhouses can make foreplay much more fun. They can also be worn and used during intercourse because they are small and non-intrusive. They can be used for clitoral stimulation or worn while giving penis stimulation.
Anal Dildos: Although a little smaller and thinner than their vaginal cousins, these can be used on either the male or female partner. Again, they can be used to simulate double penetration, or they can be used for ‘pegging.’ There are also anal dildos designed explicitly for prostate massage too.
Dildos: The use of these goes back thousands of years. Dildos can be used in foreplay, or be used as part of intercourse to replicate double penetration, or they can be used if the male partner climaxes too early. Imagination and the communicative willingness of each partner is what keeps dildos so popular.
Penis Sleeves: When the time comes for added girth or a little more length, penis sleeves can be the answer. Slip these on, and the male penis grows in size. They can also prolong sex sessions as there are fewer sensations to the penis, and ejaculation may be delayed too. Perfect for those ‘training’ or working through premature ejaculation responses.
Anal Hooks: These are for the adventurous couples who are edging toward the realms of BDSM. With predicament role playing, these steel hooks leave the wearer stuck in the middle of two positions, one which is more comfortable, and one which isn’t as comfortable. All the while, they can be receiving further sexual stimulation. Consent and communication, trust and extra care are mandatory here.
Strap Ons: It doesn’t matter which gender, there is a strap-on dildo or vibrator to meet any and all requirements. Now, one partner can be in ‘control’ and it doesn’t matter if it’s female-female, female-male, male-female, or male-male. Any combination can give endless and sustained pleasure from a strap-on penis, vibrator… or both!
Vibrating Panties: For some discrete and adventurous foreplay between a couple, there is nothing quite like vibrating panties. Wear them while on the town and give the remote to your partner and let them choose the moment when and where to deliver stimulation. Use alone or with a partner, in company or at the office. Have your partner wear some too and switch remotes. It only gets boring if the batteries run out!
- Silicone: This is the most popular material used in couple’s sex toys. It’s non-porous and can bear high or low temperatures. It can be easily sterilized in boiling water and comes with no smell or taste. It can feel soft while retaining firmness. It contains no phthalates and is body safe.
- Jelly: PVC /‘Jelly’ is the cheapest material that is still often used. Because of this, they come with a tell-tale taste and smell. Many of these come from manufacturers that may also include toxic chemicals to make them more colorful or flexible. In many cases, this is achieved using chemical coloring and phthalates. It’s now known that these can cause seriously unpleasant reactions in some people. This material can’t be sterilized and is porous, so it isn’t safe to use near water. Read the label and if it doesn’t tell you what it’s made of, move on to a product that does.
- TPE: These are also known as ‘cyber skin’ and are a mix of silicone, polyvinyl chloride and thermoplastic elastomers. Although these give a very realistic feel, they’re porous and can’t be sterilized.
- Steel: Stainless steel is the most common, which makes it one of the safest materials for the body. These can be sterilized 100% as they aren’t porous. They also deliver unique sensations because they don’t adapt to the body. This material can also be sensibly heated or cooled for unique sensations.
- Glass: This comes in two types when used for the construction of sex toys for women. Borosilicate is the same as kitchenware (Pyrex) and is made in Europe. While in other countries and in the USA, the type is soda lime glass. Glass can be sterilized and is not porous. It is 100% safe for the body. Use your own discretion with any glass based product. If the design looks like it might not cope with your intended use; pick something else.
- Hard plastic: ABS plastic is made from acrylonitrile butadiene styrene and is a terpolymer. ABS isn’t porous, so it’s straightforward to clean. It can’t be sterilized like silicone, but warm water and soap is usually enough to clean up after each use. ABS is also suitable for all lubricants. ABS doesn’t contain phthalates and has no taste or odor, so it’s body safe.
How to Choose the Right Sex Toy
Choosing a couple’s sex toy; like its intended use, will take some concentrated communication and thought from both parties, as both partners are going to be involved in their use.
The type of involvement you want your sex toy to have will be a determining factor, and how it can fit in with either foreplay or while having intercourse. Some sex toys will have dual or multiple uses, while some will have a specific purpose.
The size of the sex toy can be a factor too, because what might be suitable for you might not be ideal for your partner.
Material choice is crucial because this will determine the types of sex toys you can select. Additionally, you do need to make sure both partners are not allergic to any of the materials used.
Additional Things to Consider
Sexually transmitted diseases can be quickly and easily spread with and without intercourse. Being STD-aware and knowing your own status and your partner’s is critical. This shouldn’t make any difference if your partner is a longtime partner or not. Sex toys shouldn’t be shared. Remember: both partners need to be aware of their STD status and use condoms/dams and other protection as required. Work it into the sexual play; it doesn’t have to be a total downer, and being safe is critical.
Sex toys used for anal play should never be used for vaginal or oral/penile play afterward. There are lots of harmful bacteria which can cause problems and spread disease. Also, toys which are specific for vaginal/penile use shouldn’t be used for anal play as they are designed differently. Keep something separate for anal play; making sure it’s thoroughly cleaned and made from materials that can be sterilized after each use.
Using a reputable supplier from a trusted manufacturer is also a major factor to consider. Again, play it safe and have fun once you know that you have the best product/s available.
Care of your couple’s sex toy is crucial, and all safety and cleaning recommendations from the manufacturer (as well as these articles) should be followed, guaranteeing maximum use and safe enjoyment from your products. We want to have fun with safety always at the forefront too!